Mar 28th / 21,771 notes1. whatever you do, don’t just show up at their house…they run around in their underwear just like we do.
2. don’t cheat on them. it may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. trust me, they will find out and you will be mud.
3. beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn’t even wait for the damn hat.
4. never miss an opportunity to tell them they’re beautiful.
5. don’t refuse to kiss in front of your friends. if they laugh at you, it’s because they’re jealous.
6. if they slap you hard, you deserved it.
7. don’t be afraid to touch them if you want to. if they’re going out with you in the first place, it’s because they like being in your arms.
8. if you don’t sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did. 8.5 if you do sleep with them, don’t tell your friends that you did.
9. you can be dirty minded in private, really…most of them are not offended by it…
10. not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.
11. most of them don’t mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you’re a pussy..do you honestly need all your money that much? be a man, pay all the time!
12. every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. even if it’s not a serious relationship.
13. make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. if you’re dropping her off, walk her to the door. if you aren’t dropping her off, call to be sure she’s home safely.
14. if a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.
15. if you’re talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.
16. never, ever slap her, even if it’s just in a joking way. even if she swats you first, and says, “oh, you’re so dumb” or something, never make any gestures back.
17. go to a chick flick once in a while. she doesn’t care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
18. you’re dead meat if you can’t get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. be prince charming to their friends, mr. polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
19. don’t flirt with their moms…that’s just freaky.
20. don’t be freaked out by pms. it’s not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.
21. if you don’t like the way they drive, you do it.
22. if you’re officially dating, and you’re introducing her to your friends, you’d better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
23. don’t stress where you go for every date. they really only want to be with you.
24. if they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
25. girls are fragile. even if you’re play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
26. memorize their god damn birthdays. you forget her birthday and you’re basically screwed for life.
27. don’t marinade the cologne, but smell good.
28. don’t give her something stupid for her birthday or christmas or valentine’s day. it doesn’t have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. jewelry is always nice.
29. if you think the relationship isn’t going to last, don’t wait to find out. it will only hurt you more if you draw it out.
30. after you’ve been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. when you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.
This guy knows his shit.
Bold what’s true.
Jan 5th / 0 notes
- It’s night right now.
- There’s something else you should be doing at the moment.
- You ate chicken today.
- You are lactose intolerant.
- There’s a nearby TV on.
- You get along with your neighbours.
- Twilight is a horrible series.
- You’re hungry right now.
- You have worked out today.
- Running a mile sounds awful.
- You have a job.
- You love to bake Christmas cookies.
- Your parents are still together.
- You woke up before 11 this morning.
- Baths are better than showers.
- You are 5’5” or shorter.
- You hate British accents.
- Victoria’s Secret is a good store.
- Cats are better than dogs.
- The 90’s sucked.
- Your cell phone is right next to you.
- Your favorite color is either blue or purple.
- Your hair is short.
- You are by yourself right now.
- The last thing you drank was water.
- You’re in your PJ’s right now
- Your hair color is natural.
- Fred from Youtube is annoying.
- You don’t drink soda.
- There’s at least $20 in your wallet.
- It’s cold out
- Orange juice is better than Apple juice.
- You love someone right now.
- Video games are awesome.
- Your sheets are white.
- You have read works by Shakespeare before.
- You’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder.
- You know someone in the hospital right now.
- You’ve showered/bathed today.
- You know someone who has beaten cancer.
- Sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear.
- Chocolate is better than vanilla.
- You’re allergic to peanuts.
- You’ve never been to New York City.
- You’ve never been on a varsity sports team.
- You want to go to Europe.
- You’re using a laptop right now.
- Plastic surgery is a good idea.
- Vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear.
- You have cheated on someone before.
- Your friends do drugs.
- Your nails/toe nails have nail polish on them right now.
- You’re Italian.
- You have a tan right now.
- You bite your nails.
- You’ve been on a diet before.
- You shop in plus sized clothing stores.
- Hot Topic is scary.
- There are socks on your feet right now.
- You’ve used a hair straightener
- Shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store.
- You’re in Verizon’s network.
- Cheesecake is delicious.
- Your BMI falls into the overweight category.
- Your BMI falls into the underweight category.
- You have gotten your hair cut in the past month.
- Your birthday is within the next 2 months.
- You’ve been rejected
- Comedies are better than action films.
- Math is the best subject.
- You are fluent in more than one language.
- You love Greek food.
- You consider yourself a picky eater.
- You live with at least one parent.
- You have more than 3 pillows on your bed
- You’re happy right now.
- You are a high school graduate.
- You have a pet cat.
- You were born before April 5th, 1991.
- You have brown hair.
- You have blue eyes.
- You are in a relationship.
- You can count to 20 in another language.
- You have studied a foreign language.
- You voted in the 2008 presidential election.
- You own a vehicle that is older than a 2004.
- You have worked 3rd shift.
- You have worked in a fast food restaurant.
- You drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today.
- You live in New Jersey.
- You live in Montana.
- You live in Pennsylvania.
- Your last name begins with an ‘M’.
- Your middle name begins with a ‘C’.
- Your first name begins with an ‘S’.
- You are older than 19.
- You are younger than 16.
- You are an only child.
- Your parents are divorced.
- Your parents are not married, but together.
- You have more than one sibling
- You are a vegetarian.
- You have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
- You had braces.
- You wear contact lenses.
- You have a tattoo on your ankle.
- You have a tattoo on your wrist.
- You have a tattoo on your lower back.
- You have a tattoo on your upper arm.
- You have a lip piercing.
- You have a tongue piercing.
- You have your nipples pierced.
- You have your cartilage pierced.
- You have curly hair.
- You have received flowers from someone in the last 2 months.
- You are engaged.
- You are married.
- You have children.
- You are an aunt or uncle.
- You have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week.
- You have been drunk in the past 24 hours.
- You have lost your virginity before you turned 15.
- You are bisexual.
- You watch Scrubs.
- You were told you looked cute today.
- You were hugged today.
- Your best friend is the opposite sex. (one of them)
- You have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing.
- You are always on time.
- You have done something illegal within the last 24 hours.
- You have been out of the country within the last year.
- You love Chinese food.
- You love Italian food.
- You love Mexican food.
- You love country music.
- You love rap.
- You love hip hop.
- You love punk rock.
- You love soft rock.
- You love metal.
- You love classic rock.
- You love bluegrass.
- You love oldies.
- You love techno.
- You love pop.
- You know someone younger than 10 who passed away.
- You have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored.
- You have a parent who is a teacher.
- You are Catholic.
- You are Mormon.
- You are Buddhist.
- You are Agnostic.
- You wish at 11:11.
- You have had your current job for more than 3 months.
- You have had your heart broken.
- You have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to.
- You have been to a cemetery at midnight.
- You have been a vampire for Halloween.
- You have been a witch for Halloween.
- You have been a pumpkin for Halloween.
- You have stayed up for 48 hours straight
- You have been to walmart in the past 3 days.
- You own a cowboy hat.
- You are missing someone right now.
- You have been let down recently.
- You have had someone you thought you could trust betray you.
- You would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship.
- You would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show.
- You have met someone famous.
The educational system in one image.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend the rest of its life thinking it’s an idiot.” - Albert Einstein
Some people will never understand this.
Nov 7th / 68,784 notes
